inner peace

inner pain, inner rhythm

Hey you,

Do you still remember that day when it all happened?
Do you still remember those horrifying afternoons when
you wanted to scream and runaway and kill that fucking asshole
I wanted to kill him too.

Although,
its to late, its to dark out, we're too old, they're too old.
He has sinned and we have been victimized.
He is now the victim and we are the sinners for our crosses of hatred.

All is one and one is all, you are me and i am you.
Buddhist conceptual beauty,
Mazochist conceptual torture,
when one is not ready for it...

cry my love...yes yes cry.
you are allowed to shed your tears
for the past, for the now, for the to be
cry for me, cry for you, cry for him,
cleanse our souls
wash away our pains and shed away our fears
shout out our anger, march forward with our toxicated hearts

hearts and souls, ornate wounds turned into embellished scars
formerly ripped opened heart and soul, freshly cut wounds through careful incisions
they penetrate your body, deeper and deeper until the pain goes beyond the unbearable.

you go numb, he grows cold, or was it they?
you see the guilt in their face day in day out
the day you said that's it, they wanted to say sorry
he now has a child of his own,
and every single inch of distance between his son and i becomes
the subject of his guilt-filled radar
on defense for what he has done to us,
in fear that i remembered his skillful incisions into my heart and mind,

no, i won't
your son is safe with me
your mind is unsafe with me
the guilt has penetrated you as you have penetrated me years before
the incision of mine, the scars of mine, the everlasting open of wounds of mine
they stayed
they stayed
pain endured with the wounds
you endured with the guilt
or did you?

my forgiveness is worthless just as my body was hopelessly rampaged by you
a shameless, merciless conquerer in dire need of
selfish fulfillments

i live in pain, so do you
your pain...
my pain...
all the same

posted by Y @ 2/19/2004 04:14:00 AM